This morning, I read my first-ever Ron/Hermione fanfic (set post-Epilogue).  It made me want to gag.  Sigh. 

The veela at the Quidditch World Cup provoke the male characters into exaggerated preening, but the boasts JKR writes for them make no sense at all.  Invented a broomstick that can reach Jupiter?  Huh?  Does that inspire anyone to drop their pants?  And this is something that I actually love about JKR.  She adamantly refuses to write pr0n.  She matter-of-factly includes adolescence and sex in her story, but will not provide wank/swoon material for anyone, no matter how chaste.  There are no passages that 11-year-olds can re-read for thrills, not even the kissing scenes.  (Gack, especially the Ron/Hermione kiss, but anyway.)  When the characters make their sexual discoveries, she gives them privacy.  Well done.

On this re-read, I'm also admiring the brilliant equivalence she gives to Moody and Barty Crouch!Moody.  The way they hate the same people, the way they're both extreme, the way Crouch!Moody admires certain things -- like Harry being "decent" and telling Cedric about the dragons -- quite plausibly showing that Barty Crouch Jr. might admire some strengths, too -- a terrific study in what Quirrell espouses in book 1, about there being no good or evil but only power and those who seek it.  I'm sure I will have my usual longing for another draft when I get to Crouch's Veritaserum-induced confession, but for now, I'm enjoying book 4.  And loving, as always, Viktor Krum.  I've been thinking about him recently as we gear up for the Winter Olympics. 

Wow -- PoA reads completely differently when I'm scanning it for SS/HG.  My notes on that have filled three pages.

Snape's day as a substitute teacher for Lupin is fascinating.  On this re-read, it occurred to me that if we look a few inches under the surface, we can make out the shape of Hermione's rage at her classmates. 

( Why Snape can insult Hermione, and why Hermione can get past his defenses. )

Why am I getting reviews for the modest Snape/McGonagall essay I wrote last year?  Oh.  It looks like someone featured me on OWL.  [glaring about suspiciously]

Hee hee hee.  Thanks!

In knitting news, my yarn stash continues to multiply, one skein at a time.  Which means I have a growing collection of half-skeins and remnants, like so many plot bunnies and dust bunnies breeding in the corners.  And it reminded me of something I utterly adore about the HP film adaptations:  the costumers do a brilliant job of dressing the Weasleys.  I remember attending a Phoenix Rising presentation about film wardrobes, in which it was pointed out (gasp!  Delightful!) that Ginny in movie 5 was wearing pants not only to show her butch side but because she wears her brothers' hand-me-downs -- not in canon, totally compliant.  So now I am thinking of the multicolored hand-knitted sweater Mrs. Weasley wears in movie 2.  Remnants.  She will knit proper sweaters for the children, and as Fred and George noted in book 1, Harry's sweater is nicer than the ones she usually knits for her own kids, but when it comes to herself, she will use whatever leftovers she has on hand.

In trying to explain Korean culture to someone yesterday, I described Confucian social structure as "a pyramid scheme."  Huh.  That's it exactly.  (Not a fan.)

The Maw (22 months) has added "Yeah, cool" to her vocabulary.  Also "cuttlefish" (we've been watching a DVD from the people who brought the octopus + coconut shell footage to YouTube).  A friend pointed out that The Maw probably thinks the word is "cuddlefish" and that's why she likes it.  Ah, yes.

Blame JKR, not Snape -- really:  the verse in Sorcerer's Stone giving the potions clues is some terrible writing.  I'm picturing Snape submitting his clues in some more logical format, perhaps with obscure-looking notation that Hermione could have deciphered, and JKR scolding that a children's fairy story needs verse.  "Fine; you do it" (tossing parchment, robe-swirl).  Yes, I'm nit-picking.  My general conclusion after this re-read of book 1 is that it's freaking brilliant, stands up to the following years and thousands of pages almost miraculously, and is like a grand-scale version of what an exemplary first chapter should be.

Stayed up till 1 AM re-knitting Tot's Incognito cowl after finishing version 1, finding it too small, and frogging.  This morning, she wouldn't let me take a picture of it.  Wimpy mom gave in.  [yawn]  Time to pick her up.

( I can't help it; I think grim, judgmental 40-year-old survivors are funny. )
I'm plunging into re-reads to write the Infinitus talks I've been proposing.  [deep breath]  Here goes.

I'd read this detail before, and missed the import completely.

JKR's mother's maiden name was Anne Volant.

Beautiful.  Beautiful.  And suddenly it tells me more about Lily Evans launching off her swing.

( Wormtail. Nettleship. Vernon Dursley, and even Petunia. )Snape was the mother's story, not the child's, the part of the mother that was not defined by having a husband or a child or by the way she died.

The pleasures abound in "My Journal About My Life and Stephen and Miranda" by Adela by kellychambliss , one of the severusbigbang stories.  I'm delighted and I've laughed and repeated lines from this story in my head over the past two days -- the love it evokes is so sweet that it almost hurts, and it's wickedly clever in a gentle way, too.

There's a mystery.  Our 12-year-old narrator sets herself the task of sleuthing it out.  :-)  As she's teaching herself to be a writer.

There's a poke with a sharp stick at JKR for making a really basic fiction error that any ickle firstie should know to avoid.  *cackle

And a wonderful, wonderful tribute to JKR's series by starting with the viewpoint of an 11-year-old child again, but this one not a target of Snape's and therefore able to report on him more clearly.

Snape himself is at his yummiest here.  We get few glimpses of him, which suggests almost that the Minerva character is so protective of him that she doesn't want him overexposed (even as she pushes him, lovingly, toward engaging with the world).  But when we do hear the sentences out of his mouth, they're at their darkest chocolate-truffle savor.  Cannot get enough of this Snape.

Huh.  Maybe the theft, er, borrowing of half the Lily letter and the tearing of the Potter family photo doesn't mean exactly what I thought it meant.

It was always a bit of a problem for me, that scene with Snape on his knees in Sirius Black's bedroom, weeping.  I always assumed it meant that he risked a moment, the tiniest sliver possible of a moment, during the lowest point in his life since Halloween 1981 to fortify himself for the shitty year to come, with something that couldn't possibly provide much of a good fit -- love not meant for him, etc. etc.

But maybe it wasn't that.  Maybe Mr. Always didn't need a talisman.  I mean, when has he ever needed anything except his own mind?  We don't even know what he did with the physical pieces of paper. 

Maybe the master spy was sending a coded message.

Who could have broken into Grimmauld Place, Mr. Potter?  Surely, even your limited mind can work this one out?

What do you notice missing?

What's missing from this picture, Potter?  What have you never thought to ask about?

Potter, I have something of yours.  I have something to give you.  I'll keep it with me until we meet.

HOLY CRAP I just figured something out.  *smacking self on forehead*  Go back to book 1 again, to the gift with the unsigned note.

Your father mother left this in my possession before he she died.  It is time it was returned to you.  Use it well.

I'm still agog over the cleverness of dickgloucester 's 26-line impersonation of Snape, the poet.  The amount of critique, characterization, and wordplay she packs into this thing -- I just keep shaking my head and wanting to bow down.  This is poetry.  This is what makes it different from writing prose and breaking it up into lines.  And her scansion never breaks.  And her rhymes just make everything more clever.   I just...wow. The line starting with N is a dissertation all by itself.

ETA:  We know from the end of Sorcerer's Stone that Snape does write rhyme.  But the way Dicky's verse is far superior to JKR's abilities, and the way she perfectly captures Snape's voice in a way that critiques JKR (grey underwear, indeed), go together perfectly.  I'm persuaded by Dicky, myself.  :-)

Is there a more neutral term for "dark humor"? I'm trying to write about JKR's jokes without implying that there's anything Dark about them, as in Death Eater-dark.

I am starting my Infinitus proposal on defining Snape as absolutely, undoubtedly 100% a hero (pbbbt JKR) because of the courage it took for him to accept hatred and misunderstanding, return to Voldemort and forgo recovery from trauma, forgo all credit, and do the daily work of hiding his true and honorable self as he undertook Dumbledore's missions.

It occurred to me that this could be part of a 3-part panel presentation all about Snape. I can certainly present forty minutes' worth of material on my own, but I thought it might be stronger and more interesting with variety. juniperus noted that she'd like to see lots and lots of Snape content. It seems to me that every HP con needs at least one Snape lovefest hour of formal programming to which the Snape faithful can flock, one with wide-ranging and general interest, and ... if the programmers don't get proposals for this, they might feel obliged to throw together a panel, which might not be cohesive or well prepared.

As dickgloucester noted from Azkatraz, it is dreadfully disappointing to attend programming to find that it has been poorly prepared. I hate to think of Snape fans leaving programming feeling like their emotions hadn't been engaged. I hate that feeling myself.

From general Snape-fan talk, I gather that Snape fans want to hear insights that are fresh and new, and well argued. Probably a presentation is more useful than a roundtable, because we Snape fans talk about him informally wherever we go, but sometimes we want to sit down and be thought-provoked.

Anyone want to join me with their own presentation thoughts? Some general themes I'm pondering are answering JKR's bewilderment at why fans love Snape (no, it is NOT the bad-boy thing! nor is it just Alan Rickman!) or consider him to be a hero, clarifying his motivations as more than simply "I did it for Lily; I have no moral center of my own," refuting the spurious argument that Snape was on no one's side but his own (*scream*)...you know, the usual frothing-at-the-mouth Snape defenses.

It astonishes me how much you give to others, even when life has taken a huge bite out of you.

And of course, your hard-ass high standards thrill me no end.

I think Snape would like you. :-)

Happy birthday, and may you continue to enjoy being at the height of your powers.